We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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