i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
