When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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