i think i have two assholes
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
lol hangovers are for mortals.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
