ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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