at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
