dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize