Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
