what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
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Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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