Me too!
handjob tips. give me some.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
