Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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