She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
