As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I am available for nakedness
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
