Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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