Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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