Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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