Non-Jews are for practice
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
