I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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