finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
