I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
