Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
