i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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