Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
