she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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