when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize