I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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