why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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