Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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