Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
