I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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