Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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