I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
