don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
