We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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