She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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