I look better un-naked...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
