Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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