He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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