Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm going to jail i love you
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
