I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize