You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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