I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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