hotel room ftw
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
