We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
