I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
