we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize