Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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