I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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