i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
