no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
