my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
