i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
