He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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