yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
