I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
