Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
