She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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